Wow. This was a hard one for me. As I sat down to journal one day last week, three prompts were strength, faith without answers and surrender.
Strength was about the fact that one of my talents and strengths is using the spoken or written work to better people’s lives. OK, I think to myself – good to go with that one.
Faith without answers – which is some ways for me means faith without questions. That is something I have to work very diligently on – because I like to have answers (who doesn’t) and because I like to be in control. Telling me to do something with out the reasoning is a sure fire way for me to haul up in the traces.
But Surrender hit me hard.
Surrender – whatever you resists in life persists.
One the surface, I get this and even coach my clients on this. So my first reaction was, “I Know this.”
Head hangs. Now, “I know” is a very passive version of an excuse and it shuts down ideas and conversations – so as soon as I thought it, I knew I had to deal with it.
So, I thought – how does this show up in my life. How would I internalize this? And for me, surrendering is nothing more than flying without the fear of falling.
So that means I have to come clean on what those fears are and release them in order to move forward. I literally spent the day digging into my heart and head to ferret them out. It was very emotional for me. But here’s the one thing that came up – I carry around a fear that limits everything I do.
I had a fear of being TOO successful.
I’ve had the experience where I’ve seen money tear or at least drift apart families. I’ve seen families that are greedy and showy. I’ve seen experts who loose humility as their success grows. I’ve personally sacrificed time with my family in my quest to be successful. I’ve made poor choices for money.
And those experiences can haunt me and seep into my subconscious and color all that I do.
My next step was to re-write the reality. I was obviously thinking about all of the negatives; it was time to turn things on their heads. When you focus on what you don’t want – you usually get it. When you focus on what you want – the same applies.
Now the thought I feed my self is that there really isn’t a thing as too successful and for God to bring it on because I have a loving family, because I’ve learned from my mistakes, because for my family, we aren’t into stuff but it sure is fun to donate whenever I see a cause that I am moved to help – how ever big or small. I pray that God will help me keep my humility every step of the way so that I can be the guide that people need to be.
Surrender – what a concept. What do you need to surrender from in order to become who you need to be in your business?